


The morning after

by TransparentSheepDeer



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Canon: Devilman Crybaby, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 20:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransparentSheepDeer/pseuds/TransparentSheepDeer
Summary: Try as he might, Akira couldn't bring Ryo to discuss last night with him.





	The morning after

**Author's Note:**

> trigger: discussion of dubious consent
> 
> I just wanted to read some angst so uh. Here it is.

Akira woke up alone.

He expected it, to some extent.

He sat up in the bed. For some time he just stared ahead of himself. Man, what time was it? The curtain blocked any kind of view of the outside world, it was impossible to tell if it was night- or daytime.

He attempted to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He didn’t want to think about what happened last night.

He got out of bed. If he couldn’t sleep anymore, at least he could finally clean himself off. Or see where Ryo was. Although... maybe the latter wasn’t such a good idea, as Ryo was the one that made him gloomy. 

Since the only bathroom could be entered from the living room, it was impossible to avoid him. He did meet Ryo. Unlike Akira, he was already clothed in his usual white outfit.

He didn’t want to speak to him; if he could, he would have ignored him altogether. He didn’t want to pick up eye-contact, but to his surprise, Ryo looked up from his laptop. He looked into Akira’s eyes, opened his mouth, but then his gaze started tracing Akira’s naked body instead.

Akira didn’t exactly mind. Ryo had already seen everything.

“I can lend you clothing, if you need it,” Ryo said.

Akira knew that wasn’t the first thing he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to know what the original thing was.

“No, thanks,” he muttered, his voice coming out sharper than he intended.

Ryo either didn’t notice or decided to ignore it.

“Alright,” he said, and a moment later he was already back to tapping away on his laptop.

Akira withheld a sigh, and retreated to the bathroom as fast as he could.

He washed his face first. He stared himself in the eye. For a minute.

For two.

For ten.

Who was that person in front of him? He couldn’t recognize himself anymore.

He washed his face again, sighing. Maybe he shouldn’t look in the mirror anymore.

He took a cold shower. Usually he loved warm water, but now... somehow it just didn’t fit.

When he stepped out of the shower, he wondered how long he could stay here. Ryo definitely wasn’t moving from his place on the couch.

Akira bit his lip. Fuck, this conversation was unavoidable, wasn’t it?

He looked around the bathroom. His clothes, unfortunately, didn’t magically appear out of nowhere. Sighing, he pulled the towel a little closer around his waist.

He stepped in front of the door. He didn’t know what he wanted to say to Ryo. His mind was blank.

Well, he thought. Nothing to do about that, then.

He had to open the can of worms. He came out of the bathroom.

Ryo looked up at him again. “Is it gone?”

Akira stared. “Huh?”

Ryo pointed at his crotch.

“Oh, that. Yeah,” Akira said.

Ryo nodded. “Good.”

He seemed like he wanted to go back to his work, but Akira wasn’t letting this go that easily. He sat down next to Ryo on the couch, although not close enough to touch him.

“That’s all that concerns you?”

Ryo kept staring at his screen. “Do you still feel restless?”

“No.” Not from the demon.

“Still want to go on a murderous rampage?”

“No.”

“Then there you have it. Problem solved. Now let me finish this.”

“Ryo.” Akira put his hand on his shoulder. “I’m not talking about the demon.”

“No shit. We were talking about _you_.”

Akira pressed his lips together. “Fuck off, Ryo, you know damn well what I’m trying to talk about.”

Ryo finally looked him in the eye. “You needed something to take your mind off of things. I helped. You’re good now. End of story.”

“No, that’s not how it works.”

“What, I mean something to you now?”

Akira was taken aback. “What makes you think you didn’t?”

Ryo sighed. “You’re making things awkward right now, I hope you know.”

Akira balled his fists. “What do _you_ want to do, then? Forget that this happened at all?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you do.”

“You’re wrong.”

“ _You’re_ wrong!”

Ryo let out an annoyed sound, then turned his head back to his laptop. “Stop being childish.”

Akira, fueled by rage, yanked the laptop from his lap, and put it down on the floor. Ryo was truly glaring at him now.

“I don’t want anything from you, Akira.”

Akira didn’t reply right away. He was thinking about last night. He could see the events unfold in front of his mental eyes as if they were happening right now:

_He comes here. Ryo offers him money. Akira doesn’t take it, instead cries louder and pulls at his hair. Ryo just sighs and tells him to grow up. Akira, in a fit of rage, stands up, pushes him against the wall, yells that Ryo had lost his mind. Ryo curls his lips and asks what the fuck he has expected. Akira can’t answer. Ryo rolls his eyes, avoids looking at him and says-_

_“I can help you too.”_

_Akira’s mind goes blank. He stares at Ryo’s neck, his lips, his body. Yes, he thinks, this will do. He starts kissing Ryo’s neck, mouth traveling up and down, and Ryo tenses for a moment, then slowly, hesitantly, pets his hair. As Akira pulls him back onto the bed, and attempts to peck him on the lips, Ryo puts a finger on his mouth, and warns him with a glare:_

_“But you can’t kiss me.”_

_Akira blinks, but he doesn’t give it too much thought. He starts to unclothe Ryo, kisses all over his body. Ryo lazily strokes his back as a response. He doesn’t make many sounds during it, although sometimes, Akira can feel him tense or shiver under his touch._

_It doesn’t last long. After Akira is gone, they lay next to each other for a minute. Then, Ryo stands up, and says he needed to go back to his guests. Akira stares at him, but he’s so baffled he can’t even bring himself to say anything. Is he even entitled to making any complaints?_

“Akira. Akira? You here?”

Akira blinked. “Then why did you offer?”

Ryo sighed exasperatedly. “I didn’t offer you my _body_.”

“You didn’t?” Akira raised his voice. “How the fuck was I supposed to take what you said? If you didn’t, then _why did you let me_ -”

Ryo threw his hands in the air. “ _Because I figured it would be best to get it over with!_ I can’t have you out of control!”

“Oh, right, because letting me _assault_ you isn’t me being out of fucking control, huh? _Huh_?”

“I have given you my consent.”

“Not right away.”

Ryo looked like he wanted to strangle someone. “My only condition was that you didn’t kiss me on the lips. And you didn’t. I’m just saying: I haven’t meant to help you out in _that_ way when I said what I said.”

Akira clawed at his head. “What the fuck? Ryo, _what the fuck_? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ryo pressed his lips into a thin line. “I didn’t want to.”

Akira gestured with his hands. “ _Why_?” he asked, dragging the word out.

“I don’t understand why you’re making such a fucking deal out of it.” Ryo stood up from the couch. “You have wanted it. I have given you my consent. What is there to not understand?”

Akira stood up as well. “I don’t get why you think this doesn’t mean anything.”

Ryo’s eyes glinted menacingly. “It didn’t mean anything to me. If it did to you, that’s _your_ problem.”

Akira could only stare at him. All the energy left his body as he came to the realization.

“You don’t care about me.”

Ryo exhaled. “If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t have done that with you last night.”

Akira shook his head. “You don’t care about me,” he repeated.

Ryo stepped closer to him, but Akira backed away.

“You don’t care about my feelings.”

Ryo stared at him. “Feelings don’t matter. They’re unimportant.”

“You think that my feelings don’t matter,” Akira said, getting around the coffee table. “That my feelings are unimportant.”

Ryo followed him. “Akira, stop.”

Akira didn’t. He kept backing away from Ryo.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Akira, drop this already-”

“Why did you let me do it if you didn’t want it?”

“-you’re only making yourself look-”

“Why don’t you let yourself feel anything?”

“-pathetic, this could have been avoided-”

“I’m so sick of your attitude.”

“-if you had taken the money I have given you.”

Akira huffed. “You seriously think that would have fixed me?”

“If _I_ could fix you, the money would had too.”

Akira reached the stairs. “Answer my question, or else.”

Ryo laughed. He crossed his arms. “No.”

“ _Answer_ _it_.”

“I won’t.”

“You have to.”

“No, I don’t.”

“ _Ryo_!”

“Akira.”

Akira wanted to hit something. “Screw you, Ryo! You can’t do this to me.”

“Yes, I can.”

Ryo turned around. He went back to the couch, picked up his laptop, and started working again. He ignored Akira completely.

Akira gaped.

So it was like that.

He went upstairs. He clothed himself as fast as he could, threw the towel onto Ryo’s bed. He double-checked if he had all of his items, and then he went back to the living room.

Ryo was in the same position. Akira stared at him for a while, until Ryo gave him an annoyed look.

Akira blinked. He guessed it was time to leave.

He went for the door. No sound from Ryo aside from the tapping. Akira's hand hovered over the doorknob.

No. This wasn't right. He couldn't just leave like this.

He spun around to Ryo, and asked:

“Ryo, is everything okay?”

Ryo only continued tapping.

And Akira...

Akira gave up.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going through my older drafts from 2018. Wanted to finish writing something, and also challenge myself to keep it under 2k words, because I tend to write a lot. I finished this in 4 hours so I'm really proud of myself tbh I usually take a lot more time
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated!  
> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://transparentsheepdeer.tumblr.com)!


End file.
